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You're right, it's normal!
In long-term marriages or intimate relationships, it is common for many people to experience a gradual decrease in sexual desire for their partner, or even for their family.(coll.) wife(or long-term partners) lose interest. This phenomenon not only affects personal relationships, but also raises questions about human behavior and biological nature. Scientific research suggests that this decline in sexual desire is related to the "Coolidge Effect"The Coolidge Effect and Sperm Competition are closely related to each other. The Coolidge Effect describes the biological mechanisms that are closely related to sperm competition.humans) Sexual interest declines with familiar partners, but new sexual stimuli can quickly restore desire; sperm competition reveals thatmalesHow strategies have evolved to maximize reproductive success in polygamous environments. These mechanisms not only explain the decrease in desire for familiar partners, but also involve interactions at the neural, psychological, and social levels.

Background of the Problem and Definition of the Coolidge Effect
Background
For Long-Term CoupleslustThe decline is globally widespread. A 2023 cross-cultural survey showed that approximately 60% of long-term couples (5+ years of marriage) reported a decrease in sexual desire, particularly in men, in contrast to the 80% rate of recovery after new stimulation. This phenomenon is often referred to as the "seven-year itch", but it is not purely a result of emotional exhaustion, but of evolutionary and physiological mechanisms.
Definition of Coolidge Effect
The Coolidge effect refers to a state of sexual satiation in which males (and some females) show a decreased interest in a familiar partner, but rapidly regain their ability to perform sexually when a new heterosexual is present. The key to this effect is a novel sexually triggered dopamine release that shortens the refractory period (the time between ejaculation and erection). For example, male rats tire after successive copulations, but new females can bring them back within 5 minutes. In humans, this manifests itself as a strong attraction to a new partner, even if desire wanes in a long-term relationship. According to psychologist David M. Buss, both men and women exhibit this effect, but it is more pronounced in men and is associated with an evolutionary tendency toward polygamy.

Historical Origins and Timeline Development
Historical Origins
Named after an anecdote about US President Calvin Coolidge in the 1920s: after his wife marveled at the frequency with which roosters mated, the president asked if a different hen each time revealed a novel sexually driven behavior, and was formally named by behavioral endocrinologist Frank A. Beach in 1955 based on experiments with male rats. This effect shifted sexual behavior from psychoanalysis to experimental biology, combining it with Darwinian evolution.
Sperm competition was proposed by Geoffrey Parker in 1970, emphasizing the competitive strategy of male sperm in polyandry, complementing the evolutionary explanation of the Coolidge effect.

Timeline Development
The following table summarizes the time period of development of the Coolidge effect and sperm competition:
| Time period | Year Range | Key Events and Research Focus | Contributors/Data Highlights | Influence |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| genesis | 1920s-1950s | Coleridge's anecdote; the Beech naming effect, based on experiments with rats. | Frank A. Beach; Mouse Recovery Rate 1001 TP3T. | Foundations of Animal Behavior Research. |
| theoretical period | 1970s | Parker proposes sperm competition; female modeling study begins. | Geoffrey Parker; Modeling sperm counts. | Establish a quantitative framework to link the evolution. |
| Confirmation Period | 1980s-1990s | Female effect in hamsters; testis size and competitive correlation. | Lester & Gosalka; female interest +70%. | Extension to females with physiological data. |
| molecular phase | 2000s-2010s | Dopamine and fMRI studies; quantification of sperm allocation in fish. | Ventura-Aquino; sperm + 50%. | Connecting nerves with human applications. |
| application period | 2020s | Pornography Addiction and Digital Novelty; AI Simulation Behavior. | Multidisciplinary team; 80% New Stimulus Recovery for Men. | Extension to Mental Health and Technology. |

Reason Analysis - Why Lose Sex Drive for Wife?
The causes of decreased sexual desire in long-term couples can be categorized into evolutionary, physiological, neurological, psychological and environmental factors from the perspective of the Coolidge effect and sperm competition.
Evolutionary causes
The Coolidge effect is rooted in evolutionary adaptation: male polygamy increases the chance of gene transmission. Habituation to familiar partners reduces desire to save energy for new opportunities. Data show that species exhibiting the effect have 15-20% higher reproductive rates. Sperm competition complements this view: males tend to retain sperm for new females, and the reproductive value of old partners is 'perceived to decline'.

Physiological reasons
- Non-renewable: Familiarity with partner causes oxytocin overload, inhibits dopamine, and prolongs refractory period (average 30 minutes to several hours in humans). New stimuli are shortened to a few minutes.
- spermatogenesis: Males reduce sperm release in long-term couples (proto-chickens with new females + 40% sperm), as evolutionary familiarity with the partner is assumed to have resulted in fertilization.
Neurological Reasons
Novel partners activate the nucleus accumbens, increasing dopamine release by 30-501 TP3T, similar to the addictive reward system. Stimulation of familiar partners is diminished, leading to reward circuit fatigue. fMRI studies have shown that novel stimuli activate a hunger-like response.
Psychological and environmental reasons
- customization: Repeated visual and olfactory stimulation reduces excitement. Experiments have shown that removing novelty odors reduces the effect of 30%.
- Stress and Life: Stress in modern life (e.g., work, parenting) amplifies burnout and decreases sexual desire. 2023 study shows that stress decreases sexual frequency in men by 251 TP3T.
- digital stimulus: Internet pornography provides unlimited novelty, amplifies the Coolidge effect, and diminishes interest in real partners.

Sperm competition mechanism
Definition of sperm competition
Sperm competition refers to the phenomenon of multiple male sperm competing for fertilized eggs in the female reproductive tract, complementing the Coolidge effect, which explains male preference for new partners. proposed by Parker in 1970, it emphasizes the game model of sperm quantity and quality.

Mechanism Type
defensive strategy:
- Companion Guard: Males monitor females to reduce the chances of rivals mating.
- mating embolism: as in the case of the bumblebee using physical barriers to block subsequent spermatozoa.
- toxic semen: Fruit flies release proteins to inhibit female remating.
offensive strategy:
- Sperm removalThe beetle removes rival spermatozoa with hooked genitalia at a rate of 901 TP3T.
- Final male dominance: High fertilization rate after mating, e.g. flies up to 70%.
Female choice: Females control sperm storage and select for quality genes.
Association with decreased libido
Sperm competition explains male preference for new partners: evolutionarily, allocating more sperm to new females increases conception rates, while investing less in familiar partners leads to decreased desire. For example, European bitterns have a sperm load of +50% for new females.

Data and Chart Presentation
Research Data
- Rats (1955): Neogynecological recovery rate in male rats 1001 TP3T.
- Hamster female (1988): Xin Xiong Xing Fun + 70%.
- Progenitor (2003): New hen sperm + 40%.
- Humanity (2016): Cross-culturally, it has been shown to be effective for both men and women, and more so for men.
| Species/Object | New Partner Interest Increased (%) | Sperm change (%) | Recovery time reduction (minutes) | Source Year |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| brown rat | 100 | N/A | 5 | 1955 |
| European Bitter Fish | 60 | +50 | N/A | 2013 |
| Gallus gallus domesticus | 40 | +40 | 10 | 2003 |
| Hamster (female) | 70 | N/A | 8 | 1988 |
(The line graph shows the number of studies growing with time, accelerating after 2000s.)


Applications and Solution Strategies
For Marriage
The Coolidge effect and sperm competition explain the biological roots of decreased sexual desire for wives, but can be mitigated by strategies:
- Introduction of novelty: As discussed by the user June 20, 2025, creating romantic surprises (e.g., role-playing, travel) can simulate new stimuli and increase dopamine.
- Emotional Links: Enhance non-sexual intimacy, e.g., shared interests, boost oxytocin, counteract habituation.
- Reduce Digital Interference: Restrict pornography and rebuild realistic interests.
- Counseling Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) targets addiction and burnout and reshapes neural circuits.
Decreased sexual desire for your wife at home is a natural consequence of the Coolidge effect and sperm competition, rooted in evolutionary, neurological and environmental factors. Through time lines, data and graphs, we reveal the scientific underpinnings. Understanding these mechanisms and applying novel sexual and emotional strategies can help rebuild intimacy and promote marital health.
Further reading: