Why do I gradually lose my sexual desire for my wife who lives at home?
Table of contents
First of all, you need to understand: you are not wrong, this is a phenomenon of "men being as normal as they seem"!
You think you're a "scumbag"? Wrong! You're just a "poor wretch betrayed by your genes." Scientists say this is called the "Coolidge effect"—simply put, it means: you get bored when you're with the same girl, but as soon as you see a new girl, you're instantly energized, like you've had a cup of coffee.
Scientific research indicates that this decline in libido is related to "Coolidge EffectThis phenomenon is closely related to biological mechanisms such as the "cooling effect" and "sperm competition." It is often referred to as the "seven-year itch."
Background of the Problem and Definition of the Coolidge Effect
Origin of this name
President Coolidge and his wife visited a farm. The wife noticed a rooster constantly pouncing on different hens and said to the farmer, "Look at those roosters, how many times a day do that!"
Upon hearing this, the president immediately asked the farmer, "Does he always kill the same hen?"
The farmer said, "Yes."
The president then said, "Please tell your wife."
Definition of Coolidge Effect
Men’s sexual desire is a “new thing.” You ask him to face the same hen, and he will say: "I have no mood." As soon as you switch to the second hen, he will immediately "come to the feed." This one is related to "Men are born to have sex with different women"Scientific evidence."
Sperm competition
Sperm competition was proposed by Geoffrey Parker in 1970, emphasizing the competitive strategy of male sperm in polyandry, complementing the evolutionary explanation of the Coolidge effect.
Timeline Development
| Time period | Year Range | What happened? | There are several lowly classes |
|---|---|---|---|
| genesis | 1920s-1950s | After President Coolidge told a joke, scientists actually used mice in their experiments. | Even mice are "new and limited", let alone men |
| theoretical period | 1970s | Scientists have proposed a theory of "sperm competition"—it turns out that men "save some sperm for new women." | Even ejaculation is considered dead grass |
| Confirmation Period | 1980s-1990s | Experiments were conducted with hamsters, and it was discovered that female hamsters are more interested in new males. | So all women are like that, it's just not as obvious. |
| molecular phase | 2000s-2010s | fMRI brain scans confirmed that "new woman" can cause men's brains to light up. | You're more excited than winning the lottery when you see a new woman! |
| application period | 2020s | Discovering that watching porn makes you less addicted to your wife | She's already been spoiled by "Infinite New Girl" |
Why have I lost my libido with my wife?
| Cause Category | What happened? | There are several bastards |
|---|---|---|
| Evolutionary causes | Men are naturally inclined to "sow seeds" as many times as possible; they feel like they're "wasting bullets" if they stay with the same woman. | Your wife gave birth to your child, and you think, "It's old news, no need to ejaculate so much." |
| Physiological reasons | When sleeping with your wife, excessive oxytocin can suppress dopamine, prolonging the refractory period; when sleeping with a new woman, the refractory period is shortened. | After ejaculating once, I have to wait a long time with my wife before I can ejaculate again; with a new woman, I can come again immediately. |
| Neurological Reasons | Upon seeing a new woman, the brain's reward center releases dopamine with a "pop," leading to excitement comparable to taking cocaine. | Your brain is addicted to "new things" and numb to "old things". |
| Psychological reasons | I've become so used to my wife's appearance, voice, and smell that I've lost all sense of novelty. | The level of excitement you feel for your wife is about the same as the excitement you feel for your hair and makeup. |
| Environmental reasons | Stress, childcare, and watching porn will all make you less and less attracted to your wife. | You'd rather watch "New Girl" online than have sex with your wife. |
Sperm competition mechanism
Sperm competition refers to the phenomenon of multiple male sperm competing for fertilized eggs in the female reproductive tract. It complements the Coolidge effect and was proposed by Park in 1970, emphasizing a game model of sperm quantity and quality.
When a man finishes his business and doesn't leave, it's not because of love, but because he wants to "claim his territory." He wants to prevent another man from penetrating your woman, leaving her only with a vagina—this is the "most primal form of possessiveness."
| Strategy | Scientific explanation | The truth about Huang Daobao |
|---|---|---|
| Sperm removal | Beetles have hooked genitals; when they pounce, they will also dig out the sperm of their previous prey. | When a man cheats, you might think he's simply "going in." But science tells you that his penis is actually designed to "dig a tunnel." And then, he conveniently "scrapes" back what the previous man left behind. |
| Final male dominance | The man she later slept with had an exceptionally high fertilization rate (flies have 701 TP3T!). | You might think that a cheating man is just "ejaculating." In reality, he's orchestrating a "reshuffling"—once he's done his thing, the other woman's husband's ejaculation becomes invalid. |
How to solve a man's lack of interest in his home
| method | Order by | Success rate | Risk of falling down |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cosplay | Tell your wife to dress up as a nurse, maid, or schoolgirl. | Wow (Your brain can be fooled temporarily). | Low price (only for clothes that cost money) |
| Relocation | From the bedroom to the kitchen, bathroom, and car for sex | Medium to high (new environment = new stimulus) | (If you're going to stay, don't get hurt) |
| Role play | Playing an "affair" plot with my wife, and "met" her in a bar | Medium (If you put in enough effort, it will work) | Low (poor acting skills lead to laughter on set) |
| Stop watching porn | If you don't go online for a month, your brain will "reboot". | Medium to high (but it's really tough to endure). | (I can't resist breaking my vow) |
| Wife swapping/3P | Adding a third person (extremely high risk, not recommended) | Theoretically high | Extremely high (potentially ending in divorce). |
| Acceptance of Reality | Recognize that "passion fades" is normal, and shift towards a more gradual and sustainable approach. | 100% (Psychological Level) | Low (but you have to convince yourself). |
rememberYou're not wrong, you're just an "honest man".
A man's inability to get an erection in front of his wife isn't because she's not pretty, but because genes are "new things only." If you ask him to eat abalone every day, he'll eventually crave beef offal instead.
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